My Story

In the beginning there was Harry Ross Gardiner, a handsome, dashing young man; and there was Minnie May Azbill, a beautiful, shy young lady.  She was part Indian.  Her great-grandfather was a full-blooded Indian chief.  The name Azbill means “dragin’ canoe”.

Harry taught a Sunday School class and Minnie and other pretty, sharp young girls were in his class.  They were all crazy about Harry and each one thought they would “get him”.  Minnie just stayed quietly in the background.  Harry looked past all of them and only saw Minnie.  She was like a diamond sparkling in his eyes.  He fell in love with her and she accepted his proposal.  They were married and he took her to his little farm home.  When it was time for bed, Minnie began to wonder what she had gotten herself into.  There in a strange home with a man alone and not knowing what to expect, she locked the bedroom door and wouldn’t let him in.  Finally after thirty minutes or so of gently talking to her through the door, she let him in and I guess all went well because after that she was his “shadow”.  Wherever he went, she went - even to the outdoor toilet.

Soon papooses came in numbers.  White man wonders at his . . . . well, never mind.  After nine little ones, they decided “enough”.  Then it was work your head off to buy shoes and food.  Sometimes there wasn’t any and other times quite a lot so we’d stay up all night to eat it all up in case there wouldn’t be anymore for awhile.

Once when we lived in St. Joseph, Missouri, there was no food and the weather was bad.  Snow covered the ground.  Dad was doing carpenter work or any odd job he could get.  He’d been out all day looking for work.  He finally came home half frozen, tired and hungry and had only made one dollar.  Mom thought before she went to the store for flour and lard to make biscuits, she would stir up the fire in the stove and she dropped the dollar in and burned it up.  Now there were ten pair of eyes looking at her in dismay.  Can you imagine how she felt?  Can you imagine how Dad felt?

Dad also taught school in the early days.  Before class, he would draw beautiful birds, scrolls and writings on the blackboard.  He was a master at penmanship.

For a treat, Mom would tear little squares of old flour sacks and put a teaspoon of sugar on it and tie up the corners with a string.  They we’d suck on it till the sugar softened and we would suck it dry.  They were called “Sugar Tits”.

Mom made us a rag doll.  We named it Billy Boy.  It was the only toy we had and after many months, it got so dirty, Mom threw it away.  We couldn’t bear the thought of not having our Billy Boy so we went to the trash pile and found him and brought him home.

One Christmas we each got a stocking cap.  Another Christmas there was only enough money for a bowl of candy in the center of the table.  There never was much but Mom always saw to it that there was something.

Mom was a great cook, especially since she had nothing to start with.  She could take shoe leather and make a tender steak out of it.  God blessed her hands (right Milton?).  Well you might not have been there when she did that.  Ha.

As far back as I can remember, we had family worship.  Every morning Mom read something from the Bible and then Dad prayed.  We didn’t especially appreciate all they were trying to do for us and we would find any excuse to miss it if we could - like going to the toilet, (which was outdoors of course) and not getting back till prayer was over.  Didn’t work too often tho - folks would say “we’ll wait”.  After that, we didn’t have to go so often.

To have chewing gum was pretty special so when it was time for a meal, we couldn’t throw it away so we stuck it under our chair seats.  Later when we wanted it, we’d check under our chairs for a wad.  Didn’t matter whose wad it was, we chewed it.

Remember the days at church when some person would come to you during the altar call and invite you to go forward and give your heart to Jesus.  Often it was Dad who asked us.  We were tender then and would usually go, then forget about it till the next time.  Sometimes we would stand and testify.  We’d say “I’m saved and sanctified and going all the way.”  That was the standard testimony.

Mary and I slept together.  Ruth and Lois slept together and from there on down, I don’t know except Milton of course.  Being the only boy he slept alone wherever there was a spot left. Sometimes it was the furnace room and sometimes the front room with no privacy.  At that time he was reading the Bible.  God was preparing him way back there for the ministry.  So he had the light on so he could read and “yells” came from every room - “Milton turn off the light”.  The yells just kept coming.  How he ever stood  it I don’t know.  Can you imagine how hard eight girls could be on one boy.  We wanted him to be perfect I guess.  We’d say “Milton comb you hair”.  “Milton brush your teeth”. “Milton shine your shoes” or “Milton take a bath”.  Finally when he had had enough, he would run us up a tree and we stayed there until he cooled off.

While living in St. Joseph, Missouri, Mary, Ruth and I (and maybe Lois, I can’t remember for sure) decided to ride the street car into town and steal some things from the dime store.  We were probably 6, 7, and 8 years old.   We saved money for the street car fare which was 8 cents, I think.  We huddled in our bedroom making our plans and then went to town.  We separated and went thru the store finding what we wanted, and when nobody was looking we put it in our pocket.  Then we met at the front store door and went home.  When we got home, we went straight to the bedroom and showed each other what we had stolen - a lipstick, a little bottle of perfume, a package of gum, some candy mints and a few things like that which probably didn’t total any more than $2.  Do you think Mom didn’t know what was going on?  Of course she knew.  She always knew but didn’t say anything.  Finally after a week of two, Ruth’s conscience bothered her so that she told Mom what we had done.  Mom said, “I knew”.  We didn’t think about how obvious we were going straight to our room and staying in there so long, whispering, etc.  Mom never fussed at us, she just prayed for us.

Mom never complained about her life being so hard, but a few times when Dad pushed her too far she would say, “Now lookie here, Mr. Gardiner”.  That was his que to back off, and he did.

Sometimes we would all be in the back yard and Mom would be combing her hair.  Dad would pull her over onto his lap and stroke her hair and say, “Doesn’t she look like an angel?”  Sometimes when we’d hear the bed springs squeak in their bedroom, we knew what was going on but didn’t understand that the pleasure went both ways - we wished Dad would leave her alone.  One day Dad found a condom in the hall and was fit to be tied.  From the size of our family, I don’t think Dad used them.  Was it yours, Milton?  When we were younger, we found some on the way home from school and thought they were balloons and tried to blow them up.  We showed them to Mom and she made us throw them away.  It was Mary’s job to tell us about the birds and bees.  Mom told Mary and then as it became necessary Mary passed the word on down.  People didn’t talk about things like that much.    

Actually we were all pretty spoiled.  Mom would give us jobs to do but if we stalled long enough, she’d do them.  You could always count on Ruth though - she always cleaned the house.  She didn’t have to be asked. 

When Dad worked for Salt City Business College in Hutchinson soliciting students, he had to travel out of town a lot.  He liked to take some of us with him.  We loved to go because he would buy us a hamburger and root beer.  Wow!  But one day, we didn’t ask and he waited around hoping we would.  Finally he left but came back to give us another chance to ask.  Three times he came back, stalled around, re-packed his case but we still didn’t ask.  He finally had to go.  Our Heavenly Father wants to do things for us too if we’ll only ask.  He is hurt and disappointment we don’t.  So even tho we didn’t go with Dad, God did.  One day as he was traveling, he saw a cess pool by the side of the road.  It was covered with slime and muck, but out of the middle of it grew a pure white lily.  He realized that in this rotten, dirty, sinful world we can rise above the filth and be a shining example to the world.  Dad used every opportunity to teach us about Jesus.  Jesus comes to us in many different ways and we just don’t pay attention.  I think He must cry out, “Don’t you get it?”

While living in Hutchinson, Mary did housework for a lady and got $3.50 per week.  She gave it all to Mom to help feed our family.  She also went into the attic one day and was stepping from rafter to rafter when she missed one and went crashing through the ceiling onto the living room floor right in front of Mom and Dad.  Life is full of surprises.  What do you say except, “Hi, Mom and Hi, Dad”.

Mr. Balsmeier had a cow in a shed out on 15^th in Hutchinson.  Dad was out of town a lot so Mr. Balsmeier told Mom if she wanted to milk the cow, she could have the milk.  Every day  rain or shine,  heat wave or blizzard, she walked nine blocks, milked the cow and walked back with the milk.  She wore an old red raincoat when the weather was bad.  It had a red rubber coating to make it waterproof but it was all cracked and peeling.  She always got all the milk the cow would give.  One day when she got to the shed, the cow was lying on the ground nearly dead.  Mom tried to get her on her feet but she was too far gone.  Mom knelt down beside her and cried.  She and Mom had become friends.  When Mom’s hands were nearly frozen, milking the cow warmed them.  She learned that there are times when you shouldn’t milk a cow dry of they get undulant fever and die.  Knowing she was the cause of the cow’s death made her feel worse.  She walked home with an empty bucket and an ache in her heart. 

We had four or five hens in the old hen house.  One day when food was scarce and I was hungry, I sat out there half a day waiting for one of them to lay an egg.  Finally when one did, I grabbed it and ran to the house so Mom could cook it for me.  She said “no” because there wouldn’t be enough to go around.  She said maybe Dad would be home soon with some flour, etc. and she could use the egg to bake something for us all.  Boy!  The price you pay for having a bunch of sisters and a brother.  Where’s the justice?  After all, I stayed with the hen through the whole delivery.   Ha. ( Mom always tried to give each of us what we especially wanted.  Mary got one cup of sugar so she could make her plate of fudge.  Betty got a can of Pork and Beans.  I got one stick of butter for my toast.)  Well, sure enough, Dad showed up after awhile but he was empty handed.  Having no car, he walked to town.  Since it was 100 degrees outside  he got so hot he thought he’d never make it home so he hid the box of groceries in the bushes by the side of the road and decided to come back for them after the sun went down.  So, it was late that night before we ate.

When I was six or seven years old the District Sunday School leader said if any child wanted to write a story and send it in, they would read it and if it was good enough to publish they would pay you $.50.  So I sat behind the kitchen coal stove on a few sacks of popcorn cobs.  I wrote a story about sharing my pencils.  They accepted and published my story in the Sunday School papers and I got $.50 - Whoopee!

In our early days we went to church in the Old Ford.  The one you had to crank to start.  We all piled in the car and Dad cranked the motor and the car took off across the field.  He had left it in gear.  Of course Dad was in the way when the car started moving and it ran over his foot.  He was hobbling along after the car yelling for Mom to put her foot on the brake.  She didn’t know how to drive but figured out what must be the brake and got the car stopped.  Years later after Mary learned to drive, she decided Mom should learn too.  She took her out to a country road to give her a lesson.  Mom got the car started OK but was so aware of the ditch on the side of the road that she started driving right toward the ditch.  She kept doing that till Mary said, “Mom, keep your eyes on the road, not the ditch”.  Good lesson!  Whatever you’re concentrating on is probably the way you’ll go.

Dad had lots of different jobs.  He went door-to-door trying to sell men suits.  The company gave him samples of suit fabrics  in various sizes; some were very small and some were ½ to 1 yard long.  If the man was interested, Dad took his measurements and ordered the suit.  As the company came out with new samples, Mom made us clothes out of the old ones.  Feed sacks often came in printed material so we got dresses from them too.

Well, if ignorance is bliss, I’d be blistered  - and I was.  Our cook stove could get so hot, it popped corn on the cob behind the stove.  It also baked great bread and “blistered buns”.  I sat down on the hot oven door just after Mom had taken bread out of the oven. They say,   “Rise to the occasion”.

Well, I rose.  I didn’t sit down again for a week. 

One day at school we were singing a school song.  The teacher kept walking past me.  Pretty soon she just stood by me and I didn’t know why.  She told Dad later that I was singing harmony with the rest.  I thought it just sounded pretty - I didn’t realize what I was doing.  So later Dad and I practiced singing together and I sang alto.  We worked on “Little Jewels, Precious Jewels”.  The next Sunday Dad put a chair by the pulpit for me to stand on and he stood by me and we sang our duet in church.  

That was also the school where I sat at my desk and with my school scissors, cut off all my eyebrows.  Mom had to pencil me on some till mine grew back.

When we lived in Dodge City, we couldn’t pay the gas or water bill much of the time.  So the man would come turn our gas off.  As soon as he got out of the yard, Mom went out and turned it back on.  I think they knew it but felt sorry for her and just looked the other way.  Guess she didn’t know how to get the water back on because we had to take a bucket and walk around eight blocks to the park to get water.  Mom and I would wait until it was nearly dark so people wouldn’t notice us.  We would put a broom handle through the bucket handle so we could each carry half the load.  Mom had such a good sense of humor, we’d get tickled and spill half the water before we got home.

The wolf was always at our door.  Poverty seemed to be our constant companion.  Living in Hutchinson, Kansas at 13^th and Washington, we had to seek help from Welfare.  It always fell my lot to go with Mom to get our gunny sack of food.  It got heavy, so we would each drag it awhile.  It was embarrassing and we hoped no one we knew saw us but still we laughed all the way home.  They gave us  navy beans, a slab of bacon, sugar, flour and potatoes - that was about it.  As usual, the gas was off so Mom, being inventive, got some bricks and put them on the basement floor and built a fire to cook our meals.  Of course the smoke rolled out of the basement windows and we were afraid the neighbors would call the fire department.  Maybe they did, I don’t know.

While we were still in Dodge City, tho, Milton had quite a large sack of marbles.  They were his pride and joy.  No one, I mean no one, dare touch his marbles.  One day he brought the sack to Mom and said “You can have them”.  Mom went into the next room and cried – her son was growing up.  He was through with marbles.

Bressee College was having an evening program in their auditorium.  Most of us went and were sitting in the front near the outside aisle.  Milton had eaten a lot of strawberries for supper and soon began to feel sick and started to throw up.  He got up and ran out, throwing up all the way from the front to the back of the auditorium.  As you can imagine when the program was over all the people left by the middle aisle.

Since taking a bath was such a hassle because we had to heat two or three pots of water to boiling then add enough cold to fill the wash tub, Dad would stand out in the rain after dark for his bath.  When it didn’t rain, he took his bath in the tub first and the rest of us followed in the same water.

We had a two-seated car once that had a canvas top coated with tar to make it waterproof.  We were kinda checking the tar out one day by picking off little bits and tasting it.  It was kinda like licorice.  We’d chew on it awhile then spit it out.  Wasn’t long till the top of the car was leaking when it rained.  

When one of us do what the other one wanted, we’d say “Mom, make her” do this or that.  Finally one day Mom answered us by saying “Momma Maker” doesn’t live here anymore. 

I had a red wagon.  A few blocks from our house was a steep hill that lead down to the main street of town.  I thought “wow” what a great ride that would be.  Without any further thought, I jumped in my wagon and started down, picking up speed as I went.  About halfway down I thought, “hey, wait a minute, there is a lot of traffic down there at the bottom and I have no brakes on this wagon.  Now what am I going to do”.  I decided the only way to get stopped was to crash into the curb.  I hadn’t given a thought beyond the thrill of the ride but now I was faced with the results.  I crashed into the curb - Oh, that hurt!  I took my bumps, learned a lesson and limped home.  The thrill of the ride was soon forgotten but the pain of the crash lingered on.

I have regretted many times that we didn’t help Mom more than we did.  The only time we got out dander up and thought we were helping was when some other woman tried to move in on Mom’s territory (Dad).  Boy we’d tell Mom what she should do, etc.  She would just smile and say “Don’t worry about it”.  I believe it was when we lived in Cummings, Kansas and Dad was the school principle that we three older ones got our mouths washed out with soap.  One of the lady teachers kept trying to “come on” to Dad and because he rejected her advances, she got mad and decided to take it out on us.  She told the class to come back early from lunch and told one girl to bring a bar of soap and they could all watch us get our mouths washed out because we had said some bad words.  Words we had never heard of - we were never allowed to use words even like “gee” or “heck”.  After lunch we all gathered in the school yard by the pump.  While someone pumped some water, the teacher wet the bar and washed our mouths out.  It was so embarrassing.  After they finished, one girl pumped water for us so we could was the soap out of our mouths.

Mom played the piano - classical, ragtime, bogey and church music.  Dad loved to listen so he would get us to all sit around the room while she played.  We kept talking and cutting up and wouldn’t be quiet.  Finally he said, “I don’t want to hear another peep out of any of you”.  Well, who do you suppose just had to say “peep”.  Yeah, right and I had to sit in a dark room the rest of the evening. 

Dad taught us how to climb the door frame.  There was a kid in every door.  Remember?   Try it!

The story or the “snake and the file”.  In case you all haven’t heard it (see Florence’s 1950 Christmas Letter).  The snake was out for a walk one day and the file was lying in his way.  “Get out of my way”, the snake said.  But the file didn’t move, so the snake bit the file.  The file still didn’t move so the snake bit it again.  The file still didn’t move.  Each time the snake bit the file, it cut it’s mouth a little until it finally cut the snake in two.  The moral of this story: Go out of you way sometimes.  It might just save your life.

Living in St. Joseph, Missouri, there were bed bugs enough to go around.  Most everyone had them, but you didn’t want anyone else to know it.  They would get in the creases of your mattress and at night they would crawl all over you and draw your blood.  It would leave large itchy welts where it bit you.  They also hid in the seams of the wallpaper or any other tight places they could during the day.  At night they would come out and suck themselves full of your blood.  The stores sold a powder for them.  It was an oval box that had a nail in one end.  You were to take the nail out and push on the box and it would spray yellow powder into the seams; then you put the nail back in till the next time.  The bed bug was as flat as a piece of paper until it filled up on your blood.

The folks gave us every advantage they could.  R.D. Henry gave us piano lessons.  They gave me violin lessons and we four older girls voice lessons.  We sang a quartet and the postman would stay on the porch an extra long time to listen to us practice.  We sang for a man’s club and on the radio a few times and at church.  One summer we traveled for Bressee College singing in churches all over the state.  Prof Aller from the college gave the messages.  Lois didn’t like to sing “When I Survey”  so when we got up on the stage to sing it, we looked down and there sat Lois on the front row smiling.  So, we made the best of it and sang a trio.  We gave her a few choice words later.  No change.  Ha

Mom gave us great parties.  We’d play the guitar and sing and Mom would make taffy.  We would invite church kids and neighbors and pull taffy.

When Dad would get home from his trips at night he’d always ask “Are the children all in Mom?”  We always stationed ourselves on the porch or close by so we could see when Dad was coming.  When we saw him, we would make a dash for the door and up the stairs and jump in bed with all our clothes on and cover up to our chins.  The boy friends took their cue and scattered.  Dad would come up and see us all safely in and go back downstairs.  We’d quietly undress and thing, “Whee, we made it”.  Mom would sometimes turn the clock back so Dad wouldn’t get so upset when we got in so late.  She kinda stood between us and Dad.  He knew what was “out there” and was trying to protect us.  He said, “I can’t tie you all to the bedpost before I leave so you’ll be safe till I get home.  The police would put me in jail.”  Sometimes he felt like that was the only solution.  We’d slip out the window after we were supposed to be in bed.  Once when Lois was ready to climb back in, Dad was sitting on the side of the bed by the window waiting for her.  She climbed right into his lap.  Oh!  What an awkward moment.

When we lived in Hutchinson in the basement house, I ran away from home.  Being 16 years old, I think you’re in a state of stupidity.  I had no good reason except I wanted to do as I pleased.  I had Betty carry my suitcase out and put it in the front of the house so I could slip out when Mom wasn’t looking and take off.  How foolish!  Moms see all and know all.  I hadn’t gone more than half a block when Mom called out to me to wait.  She tried to reason with me.  She asked where I was going, etc.  I didn’t have a clue.  I didn’t have a dime and no idea where I was going except to knock on doors and see if I could work for board and room.  So I went on and Mom went home and I know her prayers were going up to heaven for me.  Now it’s getting late afternoon and I’m on the opposite side of town.  I knocked on another door and told the lady I’d work for board and room.  She said, “How do I know you don’t have syphilis or some disease”?  It was prevalent then.  I thought, Oh, dear! she is going to want to look me over.  Then she wondered if her husband had sent me to spy on her because they were having some problems.  Anyway, she finally said OK and let me in.  So I cooked (a little) and cleaned like a 16 year old would and took care of their little boy.  After a few days I felt very much alone and shut off from everyone.  I didn’t want anyone to know I had run away or where I was so I couldn’t go anyplace.  Didn’t have a dime to spend anyway.  Finally after about six weeks I got so homesick I called Mom to ask if I could come home.  She could have said, “Well you got what you asked for” or “You made your bed, now lie in it”.  Oh, NO!  She said “Of course you can come home”.  Those were sweet words to my ears.  I went home and it was good to be there.  Mom never brought it up or asked questions.  She knew I had learned a lesson and that was enough for her.  I was so grateful I thought I had to work my head off to earn the privilege.  I felt so guilty.

One thing Mom knew and acted on was attitude.  She always told us it is your attitude that makes the difference.  When she had to go from Nampa to Boise to teach some classes, she didn’t want to do it but she decided rather than fuss and fume about it, she would make a game out of it and make it fun.

She didn’t preach Christianity, she lived it.  What a beautiful example her life was for us to follow.

Since some things are best left unsaid, I’ll quit here and leave room for the rest of you to tell your stories.

Let's all meet in heaven someday.

Love to all, 

Florence 

Florence did these four tapestry weavings between 1995 and 1997.  She gave one to each of her sons and to Bill (Earl’s nephew).  She and Earl took Bill in at age 16 when his folks were killed in an accident.  He was like a son too.

Lynne Remembers :
Each summer we  visited Grandma and Grandpa Pyles in Dodge City, Kansas.   Mom and I would take a few days to go on to visit Florence in Hutchinson.  One summer I got to stay “extra” days with Florence (hey, how did I get back to Dodge?).  Florence took me to town and bought me a white sleeveless blouse and a navy skirt with white embroidery around the bottom.  Later she gave me a “Luzier” facial.  When I got ready to go home, she gave me a complete set of brand new, unused Luzier makeup - from cleanser to foundation to powder (NO  lipstick tho).  Weren’t you selling it then, Florence?  I felt like a real “lady.”  That was the same summer she told Frank to “go in the kitchen and bake a cake – you need some common sense.”  He did!  I think she did a charcoal portrait of me in that white sleeveless blouse.  We sat down in her basement studio while Dennis did flips over a bar Earl had put up for the boys.  I always wished I could do the same “tricks” he did on that bar.  (All I could do was “climb the walls” with Glenda and Diane and Janie.)  Florence would fix ham sandwiches when Earl came home for lunch.  Her fried ham was always too hot, so she would lift the top piece of bread and “fan” the ham  to cool it off.  At night I slept out on the window seats that went all around the closed in porch.    During the day, customers would come to take art  lessons or pickup their ceramic orders.  Funny what you remember.  She helped me make a ceramic  “gum parker,” and  a heart-shaped box with my name on the lid.  She also made an open book with the verse    
    “Oh, please do not kiss me. 
     Oh, please do not kiss
     Oh, please do not
     Oh, please do
     Oh, please
     Oh!”
(Still have it.)   She made a graduate in cap and gown figurine for me when I graduated from high school.

Gail Remembers:
She let me do ceramics in her shop when I was little.
Playing chess with Dennis.
She walks 100 miles per hour.
If you admire anything she has, she’ll either take you off to the garage to make one, or give it to you.

Lois Remembers:
What can you say?  Such a joy.  I felt lucky when she would play with me. She took my boyfriends. 

Robin Remembers:
Florence was mostly someone my folks would leave to go see when we were in Kansas visiting my Dad’s parents each summer.  I was always curious to see what treasures they would bring from the ceramic studio.  I thought Florence was famous.  She was I guess.  I remember walking through the huge warehouse looking at the greenware in there.  But, what I will never forget is the welcome I got as an adult later.  I was passing through town on the way to see my soon-to-be husband and called her.  Not having seen her in at least a hundred years, I was a little shy and nervous but I knew how much fun she always was and also a great storyteller.  I wanted to see her.  When I got to her house, I was wearing some knickers with an elastic waistband.  The first thing she did was grab my waistband, pull it out three feet and look all the way down my front and said, “How are ya?”  Talk about an icebreaker! 

Diane Remembers:
Making gum parkers and having to sit “very” still while she drew a portrait – all I wanted to do was swim!  It was hot.
P.S. By the way, Florence... re that portrait...everyone thought I was a boy!

Copyright © 2003-2008 philfrisk
Last modified: March 31, 2008