WARNING, CAUTION, DANGER, and BEWARE!
Read: What you NEED to know about those pesky e-mails below.
Gullibility Virus Spreading over the Internet!
WASHINGTON, D.C.--The Institute for the Investigation of Irregular Internet Phenomena announced today that many Internet users are becoming infected by a new virus that causes them to believe without question every groundless story, legend, and dire warning that shows up in their inbox or on their browser. The Gullibility Virus, as it is called, apparently makes people believe and forward copies of silly hoaxes relating to cookie recipes, email viruses, taxes on modems, and get-rich-quick schemes.
"These are not just readers of tabloids or people who buy lottery tickets based on fortune cookie numbers," a spokesman said. "Most are otherwise normal people, who would laugh at the same stories if told to them by a stranger on a street corner." However, once these same people become infected with the Gullibility Virus, they believe anything they read on the Internet.
"My immunity to tall tales and bizarre claims is all gone," reported one weeping victim. "I believe every warning message and sick child story my friends forward to me, even though most of the messages are anonymous."
Another victim, now in remission, added, "When I first heard about Good Times, I just accepted it without question. After all, there were dozens of other recipients on the mail header, so I thought the virus must be true." It was a long time, the victim said, before she could stand up at a Hoaxees Anonymous meeting and state, "My name is Jane, and I've been hoaxed." Now, however, she is spreading the word. "Challenge and check whatever you read," she says.
Internet users are urged to examine themselves for symptoms of the virus, which include the following:
 | The willingness to believe improbable stories without
thinking.
| The urge to forward multiple copies of such stories to
others.
| A lack of desire to take three minutes to check to see
if a story is true. | |
T. C. is an example of someone recently infected. He told one reporter, "I read on the Net that the major ingredient in almost all shampoos makes your hair fall out, so I've stopped using shampoo." When told about the Gullibility Virus, T. C. said he would stop reading email, so that he would not become infected.
Anyone with symptoms like these is urged to seek help immediately. Experts recommend that at the first feelings of gullibility, Internet users rush to heir favorite search engine and look up the item tempting them to thoughtless credence. Most hoaxes, legends, and tall tales have been widely discussed and exposed by the Internet community.
Courses in critical thinking are also widely available, and there is online help from many sources, including:
Department of Energy Computer Incident Advisory Capability
at
http://ciac.llnl.gov/ciac/CIACHoaxes.html
Symantec Anti Virus Research Center at
http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html
McAfee Associates Virus Hoax List at
http://www.mcafee.com/support/hoax.html
Dr. Solomons Hoax Page at
http://www.drsolomons.com/vircen/hoax.html
The Urban Legends Web Site at
http://www.urbanlegends.com
Urban Legends Reference Pages at
http://www.snopes.com
Datafellows Hoax Warnings at
http://www.Europe.Datafellows.com/news/hoax.htm
Those people who are still symptom free can help inoculate themselves against the Gullibility Virus by reading some good material on evaluating sources, such as
Evaluating Internet Research Sources at
http://www.sccu.edu/faculty/R_Harris/evalu8it.htm
Evaluation of Information Sources at
http://www.vuw.ac.nz/~agsmith/evaln/evaln.htm
Bibliography on Evaluating Internet Resources at
http://www.lib.vt.edu/research/libinst/evalbiblio.html
Continuing a crusade to
curtail frequent frivolous forwards of far-fetched fantasy,
I offer: What you NEED to know.
Feel free to forward to friends (or foes) for fun. ;-)
What you NEED to know about those pesky e-mails
Ed Note: This is meant all in good fun so please don't be offended. We've all passed along something on the internet that we thought was interesting, scary, humorous or novel only to have it come around again (and again) and finally realize it was a hoax. Relax. Don't take forwarded e-mails, or yourself, too seriously. Enjoy!
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letters and there are no computer programs that track how many times an e-mail is forwarded, let alone by whom. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. Outback Steakhouse is not paying $413 "for every person you send this to!" There is no baby food company issuing class action checks.
2. Proctor and Gamble is not part of a satanic cult or scheme, and its logo is not satanic.
3. MTV will not give you backstage passes if you forward something to the most people.
4. The Gap is not giving away free clothes. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true."
5. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears it happened to their cousin. If you are hell bent on believing the kidney theft ring stories, see: http://www.urbanlegends.com/medical/organ.theft/kidney_theft_australia.html And I quote: "The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their stories." None have. That's "none" as in "zero, zip, nada." Not even your friend's cousin.
6. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don't, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
7. If the latest NASA rocket disaster DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain letter?
8. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm that an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with viruses. Try: http://www.symantec.com/avcenter/index.html And even then, don't forward it. We don't care. And you cannot get a virus from a flashing IM or email, you have to download it . . . ya know, like, a FILE!
9. There is no gang initiation plot to murder any motorist who flashes headlights at another car driving at night without lights.
10. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. (Think Cut and Paste) It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">>>.." That begin each line either. Besides, if it has gone around that many times we've probably already seen it. Note: leaving everyone's address on the header makes for more junk mail for everyone - this is one way spammers collect e-mail addresses.
11. Craig Shergold (or Sherwood, or Sherman, etc.) in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is no longer a "little boy" either.
12. The "Make a Wish" foundation is a real organization doing fine work, but they have had to establish a special toll free hot line in response to the large number of Internet hoaxes using their good name and reputation. It is distracting them from the important work they do. Also, the American Cancer Society does not give 3 cents for each person you forward e-mail to. They ask for you to donate money, they don't give it, as if they could know how many e-mails you sent out. ...sheesh.
13. If you are one of those insufferable idiots who forwards anything that "promises" something bad will happen if you "don't," - then something bad will happen to you if I ever meet you in a dark alley.
14. Women really are suffering in Afghanistan, but forwarding an e-mail won't help their cause in the least. If you want to help, contact your local legislative representative, or get in touch with Amnesty International or the Red Cross.
15. As a general rule, e-mail "signatures" are easily faked and mean nothing to anyone with any power to do anything about whatever the competition is complaining about.
16. KFC really does use real Chickens with feathers and beaks and feet. No, they really do. Why did they change their name? In this health conscious world, what was KFC's name? Kentucky FRIED Chicken. FRIED is not healthy. So with the help of a focus group, they changed the name to KFC. It's short, doesn't offend dieters and it's easy to remember.
17. And another thing . . . oh, never mind. ... bla bla bla bla ... and in conclusion, I question the statements and links associated with this e-mail too. ;-)